Synopsis:
Two no-hopers.
One cursed village.
A bus full of
foreign female students and an
army of salacious lesbian vampires.
It's gonna be one hell of a night!
Eternal slacker Jimmy Maclaren
and his friend, Fletch, are enjoying
a walking holiday on The Moors.
Thanks to an unfortunate series
of events, they find themselves
stuck in a remote cottage with
a camper-van full of sexy foreign
student girls, besieged by a
hungry army of lascivious lesbian
vampires.
Can they make it till dawn
or will the Sapphic soul suckers
bleed them dry?
The two friends have been sent
to this desolate outpost as human
sacrifices by the local townspeople
- a group of terrified men, whose
women have all been enslaved
by a legendary vampire curse
placed on their village by Carmilla
the Lesbian Vampire Queen. Soon
after the curse was cast, Carmilla
was executed by 17th Century
vampire hunter Baron Wolfgang
Maclaren ... who, by coincidence,
was Jimmy's great, great
grandfather.
Back in the cottage, the army
of the undead prove they have
a bloodlust when the moon is
full, matched only by their lust
for the flesh of other women!
As the pretty travellers are
picked off one-by-one, joining
the ranks of the undead, Jimmy
and student Lotte
are captured by the lesbian vampires
who plan to use their blood to
resurrect the spirit of Carmilla,
their Vampire Queen! It's up
to Jimmy's good-for-nothing best
friend Fletch, and his newfound
ally - a disgruntled local vicar
- to save them all before sunrise.
Armed with the sword of long-dead
vampire slayer Wolfgang Maclaren,
Fletch and the vicar track down
their preternatural prey to Carmilla's
mansion lair, and a life or death
battle ensues. Jimmy and the
last remaining girl, Lotte, are
saved, the vampires slain and
their curse lifted forever! Now
all that is left for our heroes
to do is rebuild their lives
and embrace their newfound destiny.
As The Lesbian Vampire Killers!
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